brain on drugs
[or in my case, a whole bunch of gin and grape bombs.]
8.29.2007
8.27.2007
braaiins!
I have discovered a wonderful and cheap obsession:buying stuff at the Dollar Store and taking pictures of it.
You can find the weirdest crap there.
8.23.2007
8.22.2007
photography thoughts
Later this week I'll be revisiting still lives with my "home setup". I want to find models to do some really interesting shots I have in my head, but I don't want to have to pay anyone, because I'm not pro. Also, I don't want to deal with model released. I'd be willing to give them model credit on the photo and provide them with digital copies as well as a 4x6. I just know it's going to be difficult because I want tatted and pierced people with more depth than most of the "freaks" around here. Eventually it will fall into my lap, I'm sure.
8.20.2007
fling 'n fly
It's not very often that I can shed the heavy garment of "adulthood" and throw myself onto a 15 foot piece of plastic with the hope of not only making it to the end, but being launched past it.
I had a cookout yesterday, complete with a slip 'n slide. But wait, it wasn't the one from my childhood. Oh no. It had its own water features and a little pool at the end with inflated plastic "bumpers". There was even a fountain and a sort of sprinkler system all the way down. Sure, I cooked mussels, shrimp, scallops, veal, steaks and vegetables, but who really cares about the food after 3 drinks? Not us, that's who.
Watching my friends' kids hurl themselves from one end to the other looked like too much fun, especially as the 2pm sun continued to heat us up past the grape bombs, liquor drinks and beer. Once we started, it was hard to stop, no matter how heavy us adults were breathing, no matter how aware we were of the extreme potential of injury - and we each hurt ourselves in our own special way.
For me, I perfected the art of sliding on my shins, spinning around as I went. Sometimes I ended up flying off halfway through, but for the most part, I was launched backwards off of the bumpers at the end. The other injuries for the guests include bruised ribs, severely sore knees, scraps on shoulders, hips, legs and faces, a twisted shoulder and several bruises and bumps. Not to mention the sunburns because we used an entire bottle of baby oil on the slide just to launch that much further.
Around 6, after cooking twice, eating twice and one child curled up in the shade, sound asleep, we all went for one "last go". As the last person took their final fling and fly, the end ripped apart from "slide-proper", defiantly ending the torture we put the cheaply crafted world of water fun through. It was only $10, though. Well worth the money in relation to the fun.
Next weekend, I'm buying the $40 version and a friend is bringing extra plastic to lay on the ground. It's ON.
I had a cookout yesterday, complete with a slip 'n slide. But wait, it wasn't the one from my childhood. Oh no. It had its own water features and a little pool at the end with inflated plastic "bumpers". There was even a fountain and a sort of sprinkler system all the way down. Sure, I cooked mussels, shrimp, scallops, veal, steaks and vegetables, but who really cares about the food after 3 drinks? Not us, that's who.
Watching my friends' kids hurl themselves from one end to the other looked like too much fun, especially as the 2pm sun continued to heat us up past the grape bombs, liquor drinks and beer. Once we started, it was hard to stop, no matter how heavy us adults were breathing, no matter how aware we were of the extreme potential of injury - and we each hurt ourselves in our own special way.
For me, I perfected the art of sliding on my shins, spinning around as I went. Sometimes I ended up flying off halfway through, but for the most part, I was launched backwards off of the bumpers at the end. The other injuries for the guests include bruised ribs, severely sore knees, scraps on shoulders, hips, legs and faces, a twisted shoulder and several bruises and bumps. Not to mention the sunburns because we used an entire bottle of baby oil on the slide just to launch that much further.
Around 6, after cooking twice, eating twice and one child curled up in the shade, sound asleep, we all went for one "last go". As the last person took their final fling and fly, the end ripped apart from "slide-proper", defiantly ending the torture we put the cheaply crafted world of water fun through. It was only $10, though. Well worth the money in relation to the fun.
Next weekend, I'm buying the $40 version and a friend is bringing extra plastic to lay on the ground. It's ON.
8.17.2007
want to crap your pants?
Then take Alli.
Since Alli's been selling like the proverbial hot cake, I went searching around the web for the list of side effects. They aren't listed on the Alli website, so finding the warnings was a bit more difficult than I had hoped. Luckily, I found this website that put it all in perspective for me. What worried me the most is that Alli actually has the below as a warning on their product:
If you're desperate enough to lose weight that you will voluntarily take a pill that will make you crap your pants, then Alli is for you. If not, and this is the category I fall into, eat better and get some exercise. With the money you'll be spending on Alli and new pants and under garments, you probably could have afforded some lypo or atleast a gym membership and a few visits with a dietitian. They fact that they excuse shitting yourself by explaining it's a security measure against eating too much is laughable. Pooping my pants equals the end of taking those pills. Period. I'm not an infant and I'm not an invalid. I don't have a desire to wear adult diapers at the age of 30 because I'm too lazy to eat better and go to the gym on my own.
Oh sure, I want to lose weight, sorta. I mean, I'm active. I go to the gym 4 times a week. I eat alright and I haven't lost any weight in 5 months. No kidding. I haven't lost a clothes size at all. I've gained tons of muscle and I'm stronger and have much more energy. But have I lost even 5 lbs? Nope. And is shitting myself worth it?
Fuck no.
I'd rather go to the gym every day for the rest of my life and not lose one single pound.
And if you wouldn't.. if you'd risk the discomfort of "oily gas" and "unexpected bowel movements", I'm not sure I want to be your friend because, honey, I don't want to clean up your mess or smell your foul odor - and neither do your coworkers.
Since Alli's been selling like the proverbial hot cake, I went searching around the web for the list of side effects. They aren't listed on the Alli website, so finding the warnings was a bit more difficult than I had hoped. Luckily, I found this website that put it all in perspective for me. What worried me the most is that Alli actually has the below as a warning on their product:
You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.In layman's terms: You are going to soil yourself. No questions asked.
If you're desperate enough to lose weight that you will voluntarily take a pill that will make you crap your pants, then Alli is for you. If not, and this is the category I fall into, eat better and get some exercise. With the money you'll be spending on Alli and new pants and under garments, you probably could have afforded some lypo or atleast a gym membership and a few visits with a dietitian. They fact that they excuse shitting yourself by explaining it's a security measure against eating too much is laughable. Pooping my pants equals the end of taking those pills. Period. I'm not an infant and I'm not an invalid. I don't have a desire to wear adult diapers at the age of 30 because I'm too lazy to eat better and go to the gym on my own.
Oh sure, I want to lose weight, sorta. I mean, I'm active. I go to the gym 4 times a week. I eat alright and I haven't lost any weight in 5 months. No kidding. I haven't lost a clothes size at all. I've gained tons of muscle and I'm stronger and have much more energy. But have I lost even 5 lbs? Nope. And is shitting myself worth it?
Fuck no.
I'd rather go to the gym every day for the rest of my life and not lose one single pound.
And if you wouldn't.. if you'd risk the discomfort of "oily gas" and "unexpected bowel movements", I'm not sure I want to be your friend because, honey, I don't want to clean up your mess or smell your foul odor - and neither do your coworkers.
8.14.2007
grill-tastic
I have a long love affair with grilling. I grew up in a family that grilled every Sunday, when it wasn't below 50, like it was a ritual. Chicken, fish, beef, pork, deer and even crocodile passed through my family's grill.
At the last house I owned in 2001 we frequently grilled. At one point we had a gas grill, but before that we had what I like to call the "convection grill". It was a charcoal grill that was probably 15 years old with a huge gaping hole in the bottom that had been jury-rigged to keep the coals from falling through. It was ugly as hell and could cook a chicken breast in 5 minutes. Damn! Were they juicy, too. Sadly it bit the dust in an inferno of flames that had us rushing to get the water hose so the whole neighborhood wouldn't go up in smoke.
Since then I've lived in apartments and I simply don't like grilling on a porch that's entirely covered. So, I haven't had a grill. Not until today.
I went out and bought a decent gas grill for $200, that included a side burner. Just a normal grill with 2 levels - nothing spectacularly fancy. After getting that in and out of the Jeep, I bought some strip steaks from the grocery store as well as corn on the cob, mushrooms and 4 habanero peppers. I marinated the steaks for about 4 hours before cooking. I cooked mushrooms and onions, with butter, Worstechire sauce and some A1 on the side burner in a caste iron pan and wrapped the corn in aluminum foil with butter, salt and pepper. I coated the peppers in honey, warmed up the grill and cooked everything to absolute perfection.
The steak was to die for. I haven't had a restaurant steak that can top mine, ever, and this one was one of my best. Easily top 5. I cooked the one exactly medium rare and mine was medium, although a bit on the well side. The mushroom caps, onions and their sauce was a perfect topper for the steak and the corn was spectacular. The peppers were hot as hell. So hot it feels like I blistered my tongue, but it was fun to see how their taste changed being grilled with the honey. In the end, I'm utterly stuffed and it's awesome.
hell yeah.
At the last house I owned in 2001 we frequently grilled. At one point we had a gas grill, but before that we had what I like to call the "convection grill". It was a charcoal grill that was probably 15 years old with a huge gaping hole in the bottom that had been jury-rigged to keep the coals from falling through. It was ugly as hell and could cook a chicken breast in 5 minutes. Damn! Were they juicy, too. Sadly it bit the dust in an inferno of flames that had us rushing to get the water hose so the whole neighborhood wouldn't go up in smoke.
Since then I've lived in apartments and I simply don't like grilling on a porch that's entirely covered. So, I haven't had a grill. Not until today.
I went out and bought a decent gas grill for $200, that included a side burner. Just a normal grill with 2 levels - nothing spectacularly fancy. After getting that in and out of the Jeep, I bought some strip steaks from the grocery store as well as corn on the cob, mushrooms and 4 habanero peppers. I marinated the steaks for about 4 hours before cooking. I cooked mushrooms and onions, with butter, Worstechire sauce and some A1 on the side burner in a caste iron pan and wrapped the corn in aluminum foil with butter, salt and pepper. I coated the peppers in honey, warmed up the grill and cooked everything to absolute perfection.
The steak was to die for. I haven't had a restaurant steak that can top mine, ever, and this one was one of my best. Easily top 5. I cooked the one exactly medium rare and mine was medium, although a bit on the well side. The mushroom caps, onions and their sauce was a perfect topper for the steak and the corn was spectacular. The peppers were hot as hell. So hot it feels like I blistered my tongue, but it was fun to see how their taste changed being grilled with the honey. In the end, I'm utterly stuffed and it's awesome.
hell yeah.
8.13.2007
kharma is my friend
I don't care what you chose to believe or not believe in.. As an atheist, I want you to know that sometimes - maybe not when you want it the most - but sometimes things work out more perfectly than you could ever plan or arrange or hope.
Oh.. and that Snoop is funny as fuck.
Oh.. and that Snoop is funny as fuck.
8.08.2007
drive, don't walk
Seriously.
Drive. Don't walk.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article2195538.ece
Walking does more than driving to cause global warming, a leading environmentalist has calculated.Food production is now so energy-intensive that more carbon is emitted providing a person with enough calories to walk to the shops than a car would emit over the same distance. The climate could benefit if people avoided exercise, ate less and became couch potatoes. Provided, of course, they remembered to switch off the TV rather than leaving it on standby.
[And people are telling me global warming is for real when crap like this is "true"?]
wanted: football husband
Must be available every Sunday from now until Feb 4, 2008. [Monday and random mid-week games are a plus.]
Must know at least as much as I do about pro football. Knowledge and interest in NCAA football is a plus.
Must be able to give and receive good natured ribbings.
Must drink beer or other appropriate libations during games.
Must have "their team". Mine is the Dolphins, Jaguars are secondary. Cowboy fans are acceptable. Jets fans are not.
Must be comfortable yelling at the tv, or at least comfortable with other people yelling at the tv.
Must have an interest in going to the Stadium to watch games live, and the money to support the interest.
Must be willing to watch games in sports bars and make good-natured wagers to decide who buys the next round.
And finally, must LOVE the game. Living, breathing, sleeping and eating football is greatly appreciated.
Must know at least as much as I do about pro football. Knowledge and interest in NCAA football is a plus.
Must be able to give and receive good natured ribbings.
Must drink beer or other appropriate libations during games.
Must have "their team". Mine is the Dolphins, Jaguars are secondary. Cowboy fans are acceptable. Jets fans are not.
Must be comfortable yelling at the tv, or at least comfortable with other people yelling at the tv.
Must have an interest in going to the Stadium to watch games live, and the money to support the interest.
Must be willing to watch games in sports bars and make good-natured wagers to decide who buys the next round.
And finally, must LOVE the game. Living, breathing, sleeping and eating football is greatly appreciated.
8.05.2007
bang, bang, bang went the neighbor
so.. i went outside tonight, at about 2am to have a cig. me and the roomie had been drinking and playing wii all night. [all hail the power of 3 olives vodka.] So there's 2 cop cars and a cop van in front of the house, chatting.
At that point, i'm thinking they are about to serve a warrant to the neighbors across the street. I've figured them for drug dealers since we moved in. The traffic in and out of their house was just too typical.
Then, a cop just walk in and starts snapping pictures and I'm all "what the hell?" plus, you know, drunk.
There is mention of a "vic" and then I'm really all "what the hell just happened over there. We missed something exciting." Well, the roomie wasn't going to go out and ask the police what happened to I trucked my ass down the front walk and asked.
"Officer.. can I ask you what happened there?"
"Sure.. what's your name? do you know those people"
I told him my name and also told him we just moved in a week ago.
"Did you hear anything around 12-12:30?"
"No sir, my room mate and I were playing wii and had the stereo on and have been drinking all night."
"Well, someone busted in the guys house and shot him."
I pause, letting that sink in and ask, "Is he dead?"
The cop replies, "Scumbags never die."
"I assumed they were drug dealers," I said back to him. "The traffic was crazy."
and that was basically it. So, the drug dealer across the street is apparently a very bad drug dealer and probably owed someone money and was shot because of it.
Craziness.
Can you imagine if I had been on my porch having a cigarette when that happened? Weird.
cue: "In the ghettooooo".
At that point, i'm thinking they are about to serve a warrant to the neighbors across the street. I've figured them for drug dealers since we moved in. The traffic in and out of their house was just too typical.
Then, a cop just walk in and starts snapping pictures and I'm all "what the hell?" plus, you know, drunk.
There is mention of a "vic" and then I'm really all "what the hell just happened over there. We missed something exciting." Well, the roomie wasn't going to go out and ask the police what happened to I trucked my ass down the front walk and asked.
"Officer.. can I ask you what happened there?"
"Sure.. what's your name? do you know those people"
I told him my name and also told him we just moved in a week ago.
"Did you hear anything around 12-12:30?"
"No sir, my room mate and I were playing wii and had the stereo on and have been drinking all night."
"Well, someone busted in the guys house and shot him."
I pause, letting that sink in and ask, "Is he dead?"
The cop replies, "Scumbags never die."
"I assumed they were drug dealers," I said back to him. "The traffic was crazy."
and that was basically it. So, the drug dealer across the street is apparently a very bad drug dealer and probably owed someone money and was shot because of it.
Craziness.
Can you imagine if I had been on my porch having a cigarette when that happened? Weird.
cue: "In the ghettooooo".
8.04.2007
8.02.2007
fire and ice
Since the global warming screams are being heard far and wide with the upcoming election, I ask everyone to please read the 2 below articles before you make the decision to believe that Al Gore is "right".
Fire and Ice
http://www.businessandmedia.org/specialreports/2006/fireandice/FireandIce.pdf
I've been saying it over and over. Every so often we're either screaming about an ice age or global warming. This article shows exactly why the newest global warming hysteria outbreak is just that.. hysterical.
Al Gore's private energy consumption
http://www.tennesseepolicy.org/main/article.php?article_id=367
Fire and Ice
http://www.businessandmedia.org/specialreports/2006/fireandice/FireandIce.pdf
I've been saying it over and over. Every so often we're either screaming about an ice age or global warming. This article shows exactly why the newest global warming hysteria outbreak is just that.. hysterical.
Al Gore's private energy consumption
http://www.tennesseepolicy.org/main/article.php?article_id=367
"Gore’s mansion, located in the posh Belle Meade area of Nashville, consumes more electricity every month than the average American household uses in an entire year, according to the Nashville Electric Service (NES).
Gore’s extravagant energy use does not stop at his electric bill. Natural gas bills for Gore’s mansion and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year."
Gore’s extravagant energy use does not stop at his electric bill. Natural gas bills for Gore’s mansion and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year."
8.01.2007
gross
I can't even believe people are able to do this for a living.
http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouch1a.html
in other words, I can't stand that there's a market for making your children look like that.
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