vengeance

So I ran into an ex (that cheated on me) while I was out at Target doing some last minute New Years Eve party shopping...

And man.. Well, you know when your friend says, "She has a nice personality and a pretty face"? Imagine that body, minus the pretty face, on someone with a terrible attitude. There you'll have my ex's girlfriend.

Plus, he's let himself go to hell.

Bonus!

(Bitchy? Maybe. Truthful? Completely.)

The NYE party plans are coming along nicely, too. The menu is black eyed peas with ham, veggie tray, meat and cheese tray, bruschetta, fruit, lil smokies wrapped in crescent roll dough, spinach dip, deviled eggs and molasses cookies (that I made yesterday).

Then for the people who stay over, there'll be a breakfast of mimosas, french toast and bacon.

See.. I've had a wonderful day!

lotus pod

I got a small little light set for Christmas. I've been thoroughly enjoying it.

merry day after

I hope everyone got everything they wanted and more!

iphone zombie

I've decided to do it. I've decided to become one of those people. 

I'm getting an iPhone.

I wasn't going to. I have never been the type of person to spend $200 on a phone. It's extravagant and unnecessary - and that's precisely why I've finally said "ok".

Well, that and the Christmas money from my Grandmother.

Sure. I'm a mac addict. I love their computers and the entire iPod series. I even have bright orange "Think Different" coasters that no one has. That being said, I'm not going to rush out and buy anything just because it has their name stamped on it. Not after the "Cube incidents". (Which still runs, but whose hard drive was replace 3 times.)

I know the phone is an awesomely cool status symbol, just like the Blackberry Storms, which are carried by Verizon. LG has a whole line of verb-named phones as well. You're cool and hip if you have a touch screen. 

I get it, Commercial-land. I. get. it. 

And because my phone will essentially cost me under $100 (because of grandma money, which is better than "found money"), I've decided "what the hell". I was going to spend $110 on my next phone anyhow, since it's time to upgrade and I despise my current phone. (The number 1 key also has decided to become an "off" key, even though it's nowhere near the power button.) If I'm going to spend good money on a phone, it's going to be from a brand I trust... and that's offered by my current cell carrier. 

That's the real decision maker, in truth. I would get a Storm instead but switching service providers after 8 years? It just seems like a pain in the ass.

So, come mid January when I'm eligible for my upgrade, I'll be all gushy about the iPhone 3G. I just wanted to warn ya...

Happy Holidays!

and In the immortal words of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

"..If you can't be with the one you love, honey,
Love the one you're with."

iron photographer 64

My favorite thing about Utata is their Iron Photographer challenges. In the spirit of Iron Chef, there are required elements. They are obtuse, allowing all kinds of creativity to come out. This one was no different.

Iron Photographer 64

1 - a holiday thing

2 - a utensil for drinking

3 - cinematic aspect ratio

christmakkah

Something I rarely discuss is my mixed up traditions around the holidays. See, I'm an atheist that was raised in a Christian environment who's also ethnically Jewish. 

Yeah, wrap your head around that one. 

Christmas has always been a big deal to my family. The tree, the presents, the food and time with family and friends. It's a time I've always held special because it's the one time of year when the focus is less on the job and daily grind and more about gathering around a fireplace watching Charlie Brown specials and all of the traditional movies that make you laugh, cry and laugh-cry. We'd gather, snuggled into bean bags with blankets and hot mugs of mulled cider or eggnog - spiked once we kids got to be 16-17. (My parents have always had loose views on "special times". I got champagne at New Years and a very week rum and eggnog.)

We had the nativity scenes and those 12 Days of Christmas houses where you open windows for each day. We strung popcorn for the tree and I believed in Santa until I was 11 years old. Wait.. That's not entirely correct. I still believe in Santa, but more in the idea that Santa represents - the giving, the love, the wishing upon a star.

But then there's the Jewish heritage. 

When my mother's parents left Germany, they abandoned their religion after the persecution by Hitler and his Death Army. They sought refuge and never looked back to their past life. Because of that, my biological mother and her 7 brothers and sisters were raised without knowing much about their heritage or their parents' fears. 

During high school and college I went on a search to see if there was any religion I could subscribe to, believe and put faith in and I've found it's just not part of who I am, even though I appreciate the beauty that all try to instill. I just can't believe in something I don't feel or see. I believe in love because I've felt it. I don't believe in a god because I've never experienced nor understood the idea.

Still, as a part of my aging, or maturing, I've been learning more about Judaism and have decided this year to create a mashup of Hanukkah and Christmas, if only the superficial things as I'm only beginning to study where 1/4 of my make-up comes from. We'll see how it goes, but I feel like I should be honoring the sacrifice my grandparents made to stay alive, even if it's only in the smallest of ways.

silly boy

One of my best friends has the worst taste in women that I have ever seen. 

Let me set the stage:

Enter a 32 year old successful, good-looking man with dark eyes, with all of his own hair and is in decent shape. He's got a great sense of humor and is an all-around great guy. (Why don't I date him? We aren't attracted to each other.) He walks up to the bar, orders a drink and spots a girl to the left of him, sitting alone with her cocktail. 

They strike up a very superficial conversation and he asks her name. She gives it and they chat for about another 30 minutes. That's when the ball starts to drop. 

I've always found it amazing how my same gender after several drinks will tell anyone, anything. Like stalking an ex-boyfriend or being a klepto. This girl, apparently, went on to tell some truly horrific stories of the choices she's made in life. 

All the while, me and a few other friends are across the bar watching this all go down with the comments of: 

"Does he realize she's missing some teeth?"

"Oh god. She just spilled her entire drink on herself."

"I think she was doing coke in the bathroom."

Now, I'm not going to get all high and mighty on drug-use here, but it wasn't coke she was doing in the bathroom. The truth of the matter came out a few days later when he invited her over to his house for dinner. 

So that night all of "the friends" tried to have the always ignored talk that can be summed up in two words: "Dude.. Really?!?"

Fast forward a few days to the dinner date. Apparently this "exciting" girl has a heroin addiction. She showed up already several sheets to the wind and after they'd finished the first bottle of wine, she whipped out a little baggie from her purse, shook it at him and said, "Do you mind? I'll need a razor blade. I don't carry one with me anymore since I almost sliced my finger off in a frantic search one night.... I've got a straw, though."

Noticing the substance in the baggie wasn't white, he could cross off coke and meth, so he asked what it was.

"Oh drinking always makes me want to do some H," she said casually. "Can you hook me up with that razor?"

Baffled he could only think of excuses. He uses an electric razor, doesn't have a box cutter or exacto knife and so on. 

And she got pissed. Started calling him names, up one end and down the other. "Stupid, selfish liar" was a prominent theme he reported to me a few minutes after she left in a rant while he bolted all of the doors and windows. 

"Um.. why did you invite her to your house for a first date?" was my first question. 

"She seemed really sweet and said she thought it was sexy when a man cooked."

Listen, guys. I know a lot of you out there have this "why do women fall for the asshole?" complex, but on the other end, we have some issues with you, too. Why, just because a woman has a hot body will you date her even if she's psychotic and possibly homicidal over the "nice looking" or "good looking" or "cute" girls that are normal, goal-oriented, self-assured women who can suck a dick like a porn star... and cook you breakfast while she's doing it?

"Oh she's hawt!"

"Yeah, but she's a mess, dude. Her ex-boyfriend tries to fight every new boyfriend. She's been arrested for a DUI 3 times and now has a suspended license. That week she was evicted from her house and has no place to live."

"Yeah... but I bet she can fuck like a rockstar."

*sigh*

It's not like you are just trying to get laid for one night. Ok. Some of you are and that's totally acceptable. The dog will hunt. But more often than not, they try to date her, show her off to his friends, clean her up a bit. You know, the guy's version of a fixer-upper, turning a hoe into a housewife. Tupac, Cee-lo,  Three 6 Mafia, Notorious B.I.G., Ludacris and the rest of the rappers have told yall that for years.

You fuck a hoe. 

But you date a woman.

take a pill

What the hell, people?

Is it the Christmas season or the fact that it's not too terribly unseasonably warm here in northern Florida? (Seriously, 78 in December is quite common. I apologize to any snow birds out there, but to be honest the weather down here is pretty annoying since it rarely can make up it's mind. Except in the summer. Then it's just unbearably hot and humid.)

I'm genuinely curious as to why the majority of people I encountered today on the freeways, highways and by-ways are complete and utter idiots behind the wheel. 

Yes, silver-blue minivan that cut across me at a major intersection (that's bumpy and tends to make the Mitsubishi catch air) forcing me to slam on my brakes to avoid a compact car vs "mommy van of hell" battle I would surely lose. I'm talking to you.

Yes, Ms. I Can't Make Up My Mind When I'm Actually Going To Turn Into The Middle Lane. I'm talking to you.

And you Mr Go Slow In The Fast Lane Only To Floor It And Cut Me Off After I Passed You.. you need some serious help.

Now, it's not that these things don't happen anyway, but never have I had them happen during one 30 minute drive. Oh sure, people drive like idiots. No one understands blinkers, checking mirrors or consistent speed. I'm not a stranger to those things. What it seems like is that the closer it gets to Christmas the more frantic everyone gets, the more erratic the driving. I've seen more "quick cut off 3 lanes of traffic to make that right turn NOW" in the last 4 days than in the last 10 months. 

Here I am trying to drive along, from point to point and it seems everyone wants to get into an accident with me. (And it's not like a red Eclipse is hard to miss.)

To put it in other words, it was like dodgeball but I was the only one left on my team and every person on the other team had an endless supply of balls. 

the force

I am a Jenga ninja. 

i have the flu

I still need to work.
The keyboard isn't my friend.
I'm off to blog hop.

costco conquered

Let me begin this post by saying that I don't shop the bulk stores. I don't do the Costco's and Sam's Clubs. I don't have kids to feed and I don't have things like a deep freezer or an enormous pantry. Plus, I never know what I'm going to want to make for dinner night to night and 12 breasts of chicken is a waste because as any cook knows, freezing meats deteriorates the taste and texture over time.

Today was an exception, though. I went with my best friend and her mother-in-law to get supplies for her daughter's 5th birthday party this Saturday. I told her I'd (wo)man the grill and get supplies for skewers to go along with the hamburgers and hotdogs she bought. I also needed to get stuff for my canning projects - baby cuc's, cranberries and pears. 

Holy overwhelming, Batman. It's insanity.

Apparently things get shuffled from place to place. How do I know this? The 10 minute quest for potato chips. My poor friend was apologizing left and right and I'm sure we circled the place a dozen times. Finally we resorted to asking someone and do you know they don't have things like Doritos or Cheetos? Oh they have Cape Cod Potato Chips and some avocado oil chips, but nothing really "kid friendly". 

They're smart, too. I think they pump the air from the bakery throughout the entire store. I kept smelling chocolate chip cookies and hadn't had breakfast. 

Also, I'm not familiar with the idea that you have to request having your items put into a box by an employee. I guess if I shopped there I'd be smart enough to bring my own grocery bags and not given it another thought, but I was confused when at the end of the register was a loose pile of my purchases. 

Then we move on to the customers themselves. People weren't just pushing regular, old carts. Oh no. They were pushing pallet carts - like the ones you get at Home Depot - piled, boxes upon boxes of food. Sure, a few of them appeared to be stocking up for Christmas parties and Dinners or staples for a large family, but there was a dominant customer base of extremely heavy people buying sweets and snacks in terrifying bulk quantities. And moving slowly to boot. 

Overall it was a very weird thing for me and I can't really think of a reason to go back. The lure of cheaper electronics doesn't really get me up in the morning nor make me willing to walk through a store filled to the brim with living Jello. Sorry, Costo, but I'm sure you won't miss me.

back to life, temporarily

So, a four-day weekend has passed, complete with too much food, buying the yearly Christmas tree and watching videos online of the mass hysteria on Black Friday. For the next two weeks it's life similar to normal and then hysteria again. 

The Thanksgiving spread was fantastic. I outdo myself every year, I think. Or maybe I just forget how delicious the traditions can be. 

I've still got to can my goodies for gifts. I don't buy a lot of presents during the holidays. My best friend, closest female friend and her family are the only people I am buying individual gifts for. Even my family just gets hand-made presents and cards. It's a tradition they started several years ago, when I was 5-6. 

You see, as a kid I didn't have money to buy gifts - unlike the kids today. So my mom started me on the path of making presents for everyone. Cards, cookies, whatever I could do I made. Through the years I've continued it, making elegant edible or crafted gifts that are admittedly time-consuming. Every year I come up with a theme and go from there. One year I went with a "Tex-Mex" theme and made hot sauce, flavored oils and spice mixes. Another year I made chocolates and even another I went with a bar-b-que theme, making sauces and rubs. This year happens to be canning: Bread and Butter Pickles, Ginger Pear Preserves and Cranberry Mustard. So, instead of the stress of having a huge list to buy for, I have 3 recipes to prepare and can. Easy-Peasy. 

I don't get the massive spending without saving. I don't understand piling on large amounts of debt to already strained families when love and thoughtfulness  can be expressed in less expensive ways. Oh sure, I spend a good deal during Christmastime, but I also prepare for it all year by saving. I don't put anything on a credit card. It gets transferred from one savings account to my checking and I pay with my debit card. That's my limit. That way there's no residual heartbreak after the presents have been opened and the tree left by the curb.