mini update

I know that a few people who randomly read my blog are curious about a post I made earlier about a guy I know who's awaiting trial for "Sexual Activity on a person older than 12 but younger than 17". His trial was originally scheduled to start today, but according to his inmate information it's been pushed back to March 4.

I'll have more then...

down with the sickness

Yikes.. It's been some time since I've posted. (at least for me)

I was super sick for 4 days and I'm not quite 100% yet. I'll avoid going into the nitty gritty details and just leave it at this: Everything evacuated my body, every way possible with angry insistence. It was terrible. I haven't had a stomach virus this bad in.. oh.. 11 years or so. Luckily, I lost about 8 pounds and am feeling a good bit better. I've got a 5 course meal I'm making tomorrow night and I didn't want to have to cancel because of what my insides were doing. Gladly, I don't have to.

So.. On to the menu

First I'm going to make cheesy bread sticks with some pesto and olive oil dipping sauce. A little something to chew on throughout the meal.

Then, the first course is going to be Shrimp Napoleons (which is just a fancy shrimp salad inside puffed pastry sandwich).

The second course is a Strawberry, Feta and Spinach salad with homemade dressing.

The third course is a Bacon Wrapped Fillet and Asparagus with a Balsamic reduction.

Fourth is a little lime sherbet to refresh the pallet.

And finally, for dessert, I'm making White Chocolate and Raspberry Mousse.

Luckily every course will take 30 minutes or less to prepare so I won't have to start the courses ahead of themselves. Also, I have a sommelier to help me pick out wines or else I'd be at a complete loss. That's going to happen tomorrow morning.

It's going to be fun!

perfection

Oh my.

Sometimes things have a way of working out with results I'd never expect or even dare to hope for. Sometimes days are so awesome all you can do is just sit and smile as if you were sitting on a cloud of cotton candy, wrapped in the fluffiest of kitten fur, with skin as soft as a baby's butt and all hopped up on valium.

Happy day!

..and not only that, but I'm making Slow-Cooked Moroccan Short Ribs (I added molasses instead of honey) that are making my house smell fantastic and my tummy cry out in impatience.

bitch, in the truest of meanings

Let me preface my upcoming rant. I love my dogs. They are sweet, loving and kind. They are well controlled and I have long since established myself as the head of the pack. Now that I've said all of that...

Yesterday my boy twisted his rear right leg. It's not uncommon, really. He plays rough and throws himself into every physical activity with gusto - sometimes too much. His vet has even said, jokingly, that he's a klutz. He sprains a leg a few times a year and we've established a system with the vet: I call, describe what's going on and then we decide to wait a few days or to come in immediately. So far, nothing's been serious enough for immediate attention but because of his genes he doesn't care about physical discomfort. If I let him, he'd still play and run when he's hurt.

Then there's my spoiled, bratty girl dog. I love her, don't get me wrong, but she's an entitled bitch. She often kicks Oz (my boy dog) off of his comfy spot, tries to take treats from him and I've even caught her eating his food. What's frustrating is that he allows her to do these things.

In a pack, the top dog lets the other subordinate dogs figure out their positions. So I know that my boy is allowing her to act this way because she's forced her position. It aggravates me though. Especially days like today.

You see, he's hurt. He needs to lay in one spot and not move. I don't want to put him in his kennel to immobilize him because he doesn't like being separated like that. I will do it when a situation calls for it, but it's not my first course of action. So, I made a little spot that both of the dogs can sleep on that's close to me in my office. (When they feel icky, they like to be as close as possible.) When it was time to give Oz his aspirin, against my commands he followed me into the kitchen where I wrapped the medicine in a small amount of peanut butter in a scrap of bread. During that time, my girl Isis decided it was time to completely take over the bed I set up for both of them. When I brought him back into the office, there's poor Oz trying to find a space to lay and get comfortable and she just laid there and stretched out even more.

I ended up having to literally YELL at her and shove her with my foot to get her entitled ass to move. She was completely unwilling to share with my poor injured boy. Even now, he's laying half off the bed because she readjusted and shoved him with her ass.

I don't know why he's such a push over. She's spayed so it's not like he thinks he can get anything from her because she's never gone into heat. It's frustrating for me, though, because all day yesterday and today she's been taking over whatever comfy spot he's found, making him move around on his injury more than necessary.

(edited to add: I finally had to put him in his kennel, but it wasn't without a fight from my girl dog. She tried to climb in there because I put the bed in there. He just won't stay still and kept following me around the house.)

happy vd-day!

sometimes best left forgotten

Today, during my weekly back up and reorganization of files, I ran across a folder of poetry and random writing from 2004-2005. A time when things were, to say the least, confusing for me. The particular bit below was never edited after its first draft. It's not near any of the better things I've written, but I'm posting it as-is anyway. The rawness sort of lends itself to what I was feeling at the time.

---

still waiting..


she paces, waiting for the knock on the door. the trivial things in life have been taken care of. her dogs have been fed and walked, she has showered and shaved those parts of her that are so rarely seen by another human and she has cleared her schedule for the day. he knocks on her door, a sly grin playing on his face when she opened it.

"a skirt. niiiice," he remarks.

she knows that he is aware of her reason on this day for wearing a skirt. she is the girl that is always covered.

"do you want to come in for a minute?" she asks, completely sure a few minutes will turn into a few hours.

"later. i have something for you on the other side of closed doors."

a surprise? she loves surprises. she giggles, grabs her keys and things and follows him to his family car. once inside the protective glass and 4 door compartment, he gropes at her legs, reaching above her skirt.

"no panties?"

"none."

"the things you do to me, girl."

he reaches behind her seat and pulls out a large gift bag. she gasps as her eyes get wide, a bright smile lighting up the entire car.

"happy birthday!"

she looks into the bag and spies a little girl crown with matching clip on earrings. she immediately tears intot he packaging and puts them on, batting her eyelashes at him. accompaning that was a perfect gift since her recent accident.

"he's so perfect," she thinks.

she is elated, walking on air. it has been too long that someone has taken such care and proved to know her so well as he did, on this day. she hugs and kisses him while he drives, almost climbing on top of him with driving down the road.

he takes her to a café for breakfast, a spot known for good food and friendly waitresses. she doesn't take her crown off. the entire breakfast is full of innuendo after innuendo. she placing her barefooted toes in his lap, curling them in just the right places. the sunny elderly waitress inquires about a special day, after all, how many 27 year olds do you see walking in for breakfast with a bright shiny crown on.

"it's my birthday," the woman replies.

"oh wonderful! happy birthday! you have many special things plan today, i hope!" she says, eyeing the two of them as if they were a "real couple".

the woman grins at her male counterpart, "i hope so!"

after the gift of the death by chocolate brownie with a candle in it from the waitress, they leave, hand in hand, thanking the eldery woman every so much by leaving a very nice tip. they spend the day as normal couples do, lauging, talking, cuddling and kissing. only, they have limited time during the day to see each other. he must make excuses and lie, where she can't tell her friends one word of the truth. she spends her day, holding his hand, burning the memory into her head since she knows, one day, one of them will grow sick of the lies. she hopes it will be herself first. rejection from any lover is hard, but from a married man, well, it feels harder than anyone else, ever.

she moves his hand up her leg inch my inch as they get closer to her apartment after the full day. silently, he follows her inside to her couch and sits down with her, taking her face in his hands and kissing her so deeply that she didn't even hear his phone ring.

"your wife?"

"give me a minute."

she leaves the room as he talks on the phone for a bit, giving him privacy. he comes to her, wraps his arms around her and says,

"i have to go. i thought we would have had a few more hours. i am sorry."

she nods, not looking at him in the face. when he leaves, he half-heartedly kisses her again, knowing it can't make up for the injury caused.

"i will make it up to you, i promise."

so much time has passed and she is still waiting.

mmm din-din

I had forgotten how wonderful simple food can be.

Today I made corned beef brisket with a key lime dijon mustard glaze, cabbage and carrots. Oh it was heavenly.

I simmered the 3 1/4 lb brisket for just over 3 hours. Then I took it out and preheated the oven to 350. The glaze was super simple - dijon mustard, key lime mustard, brown sugar and pepper. Just before I put the corned beef in the oven, uncovered, I glooped on the entire 1/4 of glaze.

While the oven was preheating, I brought the "beef water" back up to a rolling boil, added garlic and pepper, then dropped the baby carrots in it. Cooked those for 10 minutes, covered at a simmer. Then I added the cabbage that I cut into quarters. Those cooked for another 15 minutes.

About 5 minutes before the veggies were done, I turned the oven to a high broil for about 2-3 minutes. Just until the glaze was good and sticky. Then I brought it out to rest.

When the veggies were done and the cabbage was tender, but not mushy, I put them into a bowl with a few pats of butter at the bottom.

Then we ate. Holy crap! It was fantastic. Luckily I made enough for everyone to have seconds, because it's all gone now.

I've been making seriously complicated meals the last few months. It was nice to make this and have it taste so heavenly, satisfying and pure.

yay for boredom

(and yourfonts.com)

they're coming

Day 2 of Sleep Deprivation:

tuesday nonsense

So, I didn't get much sleep last night. I went to bed at 2am but I couldn't actually fall asleep until sometime after 5:30am. (That was the last time I checked my phone.) Then, because my sleep fairy is a masochist, I woke up before 9:30am. I laid there for awhile cursing my body clock and all that is internally holy before deciding to get up and "fuck it. I'll make some cinnamon rolls".

During the course of my nearer to insanity I had a brilliant idea - a Murphy Sofa Bed. Yeah. Brilliant. A gigantic ass cabinet with a sofa to pull out with a bed inside of it. How much more complicated could you get, right? How about adding built in end-tables and lighting? See - things can always be worse.

I also had a thought of a brilliant blog post that was completely forgotten as I watched my dog trying to figure out where the smell of his gas came from. It's always hilarious. (Especially when they are in the other room.)

So I called a friend to tell her that I can relate. (Her migraine medications make her loopy while she's adjusting to them.) She didn't answer and I didn't leave a message. Why is that important? It isn't. I'm just filling space.

The one positive is that I've been able to level up my character up twice in Mafia Live (iPhone app). I'm now a Level 37 Psychopath, with almost $11 million in my pretend bank. I'm holding out so I can put a nightclub on my downtown block which will give me $150k every hour. This paragraph will really only mean anything to someone who plays, but let me tell all you others this: it's the most addictive app that I've purchased. It's worth the $3-4.

Okay.. I just stared at my tv, which is off, for about 4.75 minutes. I think I need some more coffee.

Just remember, folks. Watch out when drinking profusely in public. Everyone and their grandma has cell and digi cams.

he did what?

Uh.. So like... Um..

Ok. So listen. This dude I know got arrested for 3 counts of lewd and lascivious battery on a minor between 12-17 and I really don't know what the fuck to think about it. Don't get me wrong, Ew is what first comes to mind. I plan to go to the trial and see what the fuck is going on because the stories I'm hearing through the grapevine aren't adding up.

This guy was a fairly good friend. We were closer a few years back when our circles ran at the same bar, but he stopped by on New Years Eve for a few hours. He had drinks, hung out. He's a good guy and I know it probably wasn't forced or anything, but I still cringe at the idea. A 17 year old seems like a baby to me. I don't find the high school boys attractive. Hell, I don't even find college age kids attractive.

Not to be crass (okay, to be crass) I like a little maturity behind my penis.

Anyway, I just can't defend his actions. It's ew. From the stories I'm hearing it's some "misunderstanding" but really, I seriously doubt that. As much as I want to believe he didn't do it, I just don't know if I can right now. He's always dated much younger girls. His last girlfriend I met (which was over a year ago) was 20. Is 17 such a great leap from 20? (Besides the whole "in high school" thing.)

What type of friend does it make me for my first reaction to be disgust but what type of person does it make me to scream innocent without knowing the facts? I just don't know how to react to this. I mean his bail is over $1 million. His trial date, not pre-trial, has been set for later this month. He obviously pleaded not-guilty. I just don't know what I'm supposed to think or how to react because, come to find out, he was in prison for the same thing several years back. (When he was 22 and she was 17.) So it's pretty likely that he is did "hook up" with a young girl and it was consensual.

I don't believe any laws should be bent just because I happen to know someone. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to believe it, but I don't think it makes a difference to me if the underage girl was "down". I don't want to be a bad, judgmental friend but I'm not sure if it's something I can look past.

What a mess..

hoarder

My biological mother is a hoarder. She buys unnecessary items almost daily and saves everything possible. Walking into her spare rooms (when she actually owned a house or lived by herself) is impossible. They have always been piled to the ceiling with crap, junk and clutter. Now that she's living with other people, room mates, exboyfriends and even my sister, she still hasn't reduced her amount of junk. So, every time she moves it's an ordeal of trucks and cramming things into a new spot.

When she lived at my little sister's house she couldn't even sleep on a bed. The furniture that had been in her room - a bed, small dresser and night stand - was removed and replaced with plastic boxes filling the closet as well as 3-4 rows deep in a circle around the room from the floor to the ceiling. The boxes contained everything from 15 dollar store manicure kits she bought 10 years ago to odds and ends from every sale rack you can think of. Besides the boxes, there were bags and bags of clothes, fabric, blankets, sheets, towels and shoes - all things she hasn't used nor touched in 5+ years. When the room was filled, she started lining things up in the hallway and living room and started to sleep on the couch. She also has 2 storage units and the last I heard was about the get a third.

Because of this I'm very aware of my own hoarding tendancies - even though they aren't nearly approaching an obsession or problem. I keep and collect kitchen items - from hand tools such as graters, knives, hand grinders and mortars and pestles to food processors, hand mixer, submersible mixers, utensils and so on. I keep memory items, photography related things and house decoration stuff. There are things I have that I don't need nor use, sure. But they sit in 7 boxes in the attic because every year I go through everything I've held on to and perhaps collected through the year and reorganize my life.

Sure, I keep junk from trips like hotel pads , ticket stubs and even boarding passes, but eventually the connection to the absurd passes and I am left with just the core of the memories - the pictures. What I've found to replace the junk is magnets. As silly as it seems, whenever I go on a trip I buy a magnet or 2 to put on the fridge that reminds me of a moment here or there without too much bother. Plus, since the fridge is where I display recent photography and leave notes for myself, the magnets can actually be helpful.

Also, like most women I keep clothes, shoes and make up. No, I won't be using the bright, shimmery green eyeshadow during the day anymore, but what about for halloween or some other themed party? Still, every year it's gone through and thrown away if I haven't touched it in the last 12 months.

What saves me, I think, is hating clutter. Also I'm fairly OCD in such that everything has it's place. My kitchen is organized to the hilt and everything in the downstairs is clean and kept up. The only clutter is my bedroom because I'm terrible about putting clothes away. (But that still gets taken care of once a week when I do laundry.) Yes, the closets are full, but in a house that has 4 bedrooms and only 4 closets the size of a person it's not hard to do. Also, my garage has a problem with spiders. I clean and clean, spray and spray but they are back every month. I can't keep the stuff I care about in there - not even a car. If that wasn't the case, my golf clubs, tennis rackets, christmas boxes and et cetera wouldn't be in the house.

True, I have pictures that I'm not going to put up in my house that I got from my folks when they downsized and moved to Arizona several years back. But I also realize growing up with my step mom who has millions of hobbies that all require space for storage helps me hate having a lot of stuff that I'm not currently using. I'll actually choose to not do hobbies or projects because of the clutter they will inevitably bring with them.

It's just a situation that most people don't understand. I've talked to people outside of my sister about my mother's hoarding issues and they are like "Just throw it away". It doesn't work like that. Just because we may get rid of all of her crap doesn't stop her from accumulating more. It's something that I am extremely aware of in my own personality as well and the idea of a stranger deciding what I can or cannot keep is one of the most extreme invasions of privacy. Even though I can't stand the woman (I haven't spoken to her in 7 years), until she can admit to herself she has an issue, there's nothing anyone can do. And I certainly am not going to spend my own money on an abusive woman who's in denial. That's just the bottom line.

archives

Sometimes when I look through my archives, I find some really neat stuff - old writing, graphics projects and pictures.

But the majority of the time, I find things like this:



(06.29.2005, "LiveJournal" folder)

6 months and counting

As much as I enjoy football, I really love the Super Sunday Parties even more.

You see, I'm a Daddy's Girl. Growing up we went camping, to football and baseball games, racing events and so on. Sundays were cook-out and sports on the tube days. The stereo would be turned up so we could hear all of the action outside while laughing with friends and family. We always had people at our house on the weekends. There was always drunken revelry late into the night.

I was born and raised a sports fan. That's just how it will always be.

This year I host my own Super Sunday Smashdown, as I have just about every year since I moved out of my parents' home over a decade ago. It's so much fun to have a multitude of voices in my house. The conversations, the laughter, the food disappearing at a rate that compliments more than words will ever do.

Last night's game wasn't "important" to me. None of my favorite teams, teams I inherited from my dad many many years back, made it. Still, while it wasn't an all encompassing game, it was still great fun to be a part of. Think about it - even though we were all in different homes, bars, cities, states and even countries, millions of us sat around with our eyes focused on the same players, the same downs and the same commercials. We all Twittered or Facebooked or Live Blogged. We called friends and taunted and congratulated. We talked smack and grit our teeth. When you think about it, it's really amazing that 3 hours of watching TV can bring people together in some weird sort of way.

(This is the part where I'd sing "We are the world", if I could sing and was really that emotional about the whole thing.)

No, I don't think the Super Bowl will bring world peace or even pause the violence (just look at all of the arrests last night), but I think we need more excuses to relate to each other. If a "stupid football game" can do it, why aren't we finding more ways? (Instead we argue about politics and religion.)

Okay. Bleeding heart is over. I just had a damn good time getting drunk with friends, laughing until I almost peed myself on several occasions and knowing that for 5 seconds, millions of people watched with baited breath all at the same time.